I *really* didn't think I was ambitious this September, when I sat down in my fully-unpacked studio space, and crafted a plan for a new wardrobe:
I'd *ahem* grown during the previous 9 months of wretched instability and sorely needed a closet-do-over. Looking ahead at a whole semester of full-day kindergarten for 5, and twice a week preschool for 3, I figured I'd be SWIMMING in free time. Right!?
Apparently, the more hours of school your children attend, the more work there is for you, you lucky parent! I'd missed this chapter in the "Honest Parenting" handbook.
On top of which, the sweetest boy I've ever made started having REALLY big feelings, and he lacked the language or coping skills to manage them. For a while there, fits were bringing the whole family down to their knees. Which brings me to my sewing-unrelated PSA: big life changes affect our little ones too, even when they can't tell you how.
Long story short, my Fall Sewing time went the way of the past two seasons': to my family.
And truth be told, that's just how it works sometimes. It's OK! There are worse things than bailing on your own sewing expectations. It just didn't look very pretty, or feel very confidence-inspiring while I hiked up my "give it up already" skinny pants for the 100th time in a day.
I did manage to steal an hour or two each week, and decided to take my time sewing challenging pieces that would help my mind tune out the white noise of life. Mostly, that meant sewing plaid. (And then giggling about my goober-of-a-hashtag for it later...)
Sometimes the sews were just easy projects designed to scratch a creative itch, or meant to make me chuckle. (Like my new favorite pajama shirt that says "Whatever sprinkles your donuts"!)
But here's the thing. All the while, I was feeling like a capsule fraud. I love minimalism. I preach it. I love sewing to a plan. I preach that, too. And here I was, willy nilly, sewing up projects to heal my stressed out heart.
And then I got dressed this morning... and realized that my subconscious had gifted me a winter capsule.
That's a whopping 8 out of 12 planned pieces, all sewn up! Mind you - not all became the projects I had in my head originally... but they DID all still work together! And the "NOPE"s? I caved and bought a few RTW jeggings and a $12 blazer a month ago.
"But.. isn't buying read-to-wear kind of like.. cheating?"
Cheating who exactly? Sewing a capsule is a thing I do because I enjoy it. It's a "game" I play with myself. The only person I'd have cheated by muslin'ing jeans on a shame-myself-wearing-too-small-pants timeline is ME. Isn't life hard enough without imposing needless expectations on ourselves?
So no. Not cheating. In fact, I'm pumped I bought those items. I used the time I saved from sewing them to chaperone my son's pumpkin patch field trip, help with my daughter's Halloween parade, and enjoy low key evenings binging Netflix with my husband - a welcomed change from the "adulting-is-hard" cloud that hovered over our marriage during our many-month-moving process. A pair of me-made jeans pales in comparison, don't you think?
"How do you think this happened?? How did your makes happen to work out coordinating like that??"
Mostly, it's because I bought fabrics that coordinated in the first place. I may not have sewn to a plan, but I DID buy to a plan. Shirtings were still going to be best suited for shirts, bottomweights for bottoms, that sort of thing.
To a lesser degree, I think my plan was always kind of there in my subconscious. For instance: I'd crafted visions of me in a midi cardigan and swooned over the idea until my sewing machine spat it out. September-me had cast a spell of "suggestion" on overwhelmed-Fall-me. Now, January-me gets to sit back in awe of her magic. Way to look out for us, old (Younger?!) me!
"So.. is this one of those rambly posts then? With no central theme?"
Probably. But if I were to craft one of those, it'd be grace. Be gracious with yourself. Make plans that are realistic for you, and adapt it as you go. Abandon it all if you have to. And don't let the ghosts of those expectations haunt you, or intimidate you out of sewing things your heart wants instead. You just might surprise yourself with what you accomplish when you take that pressure off yourself.
Me, my midi cardigan, and the crazy crew who needed me more than I needed a home-sewn capsule
.........even though I still got that, too. #Icapsuleinmysleep #noreallymaybethatswhathappened???